Florida Pastoral

Never label your circuit breaker in pencil.

Also, always make sure you correctly identify everything before labeling it in ink.

If the subjects taught in schools were women, then I’m pretty sure we could all agree on a few things.

History’s a lying cheating whore. I’ll never have a real relationship with her because she’s just too fickle.

English wears too much makeup because she’s insecure about herself and lets you cum inside her the first night you meet. She probably was in an abusive relationship at one point or another and just never figured out she could do better than that.

Math’s always right and never lies. She’s a textbook stoic. It makes me hate her sometimes but she’s so perfect I always have to kiss and make up.

I’m unsure where it is I’m going with this.

That’s kinda how I feel about sweet and sour chicken. I think it’s better without the sauce, and I frequently wonder what it’d be like if it was pork, but I’m afriad to ask it to change for me since it’s its own person too. I guess I just want it to want to try being pork for my sake, kinda as a token of its love for me, but I think that might be me just being selfish.

It doesn’t help that its cousin is a chikfila cow and always has these stories of the good life for it either. I have no idea why he married that stupid cunt anyway. She’s virtually illiterate.